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Dads Art of Saying No
Fresh and Intersting Ways to Say No To Your Kids Every Monday Wednesday and Friday
Good morning,
Welcome to the very first issue of Dad's Art of Saying No!
This newsletter is all about turning the everyday dad duty of saying "no" into an art form — and having some laughs along the way! In future issues, we’ll dive into all sorts of fun and creative ways to say no, whether you’re dealing with endless snack requests, screen time negotiations, or random kid ideas that make you scratch your head.
Each newsletter will come packed with 3 or 4 sections, each showcasing different ways to master the art of refusing, with a side of dad humor, of course.
To kick things off, here’s a little something to set the tone:
"Let me check... yep, my 'no' button is still working!"
We’re just getting started, but trust me, it only gets better (or should I say worse, if you’re the one hearing the "no"). So, sit back, get ready to laugh, and let's dive into the wonderful world of dad refusals!
Let’s get started!
FUNNY WAYS TO SAY NO
"I’d rather watch paint dry."
"Not today, Satan!"
"I’m allergic to that idea."
PLAYFUL SONG/WORD-BASED WAYS USING 'NO'
"No, no, no, no, no! (to the tune of This Old Man)"
"Nope, like N-O, see you later!"
"I’m not saying yes; I'm saying no!"
SARCASTIC WAYS TO SAY NO
"Oh sure, let me drop everything important—oh wait, nothing’s important."
"Yeah, and I’ll ride a unicorn there."
"Let me think... okay, no."
HOW WOULD (or did) THE WIFE REPLY TO THESE?!
"I’d rather watch paint dry."
Wife's Reply: “Great! I’ll grab the paintbrush and we’ll multitask. You can dry-watch, and I’ll get stuff done.”
"Not today, Satan!"
Wife's Reply: “No worries, honey. I’ll just check with your manager, Lucifer, and reschedule for tomorrow.”
"I’m allergic to that idea."
Wife's Reply: “Funny, because I’m allergic to lame excuses, but here we are.”
"Oh sure, let me drop everything important—oh wait, nothing’s important."
Wife's Reply: “Wow, what a relief! Since nothing’s important, you can totally do what I asked now.”
"Yeah, and I’ll ride a unicorn there."
Wife's Reply: “Great, I’ll saddle up your imaginary steed. Hope it’s as fast as your excuses!”
"Let me think... okay, no."
Wife's Reply: “That was quick. I’m impressed with how efficiently you avoided that one!”
"No, no, no, no, no! (to the tune of This Old Man)"
Wife's Reply: “Catchy! Now do one with ‘yes’ to the tune of ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life.’”
"Nope, like N-O, see you later!"
Wife's Reply: “Sure, I’ll see you later… when you’re doing that thing I asked.”
"I’m not saying yes; I'm saying no!"
Wife's Reply: “I’m not saying you have a choice, but… yeah, you really don’t.”
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO SAY NO?
We want to hear from you!
Do you have a funny way that you have told your kids (or 🫣 your wife 🫣) the word “No”? Reply and let us know! We’ll add it to a future newsletter!
We Also Want To Hear Your Stories!
Have you said no recently in a funny way? Let us know how you said “No” and we’ll feature the best ones in our upcoming issues!
Can’t get past the Dad’s NO! Also, a husband's attempts to avoid doing a chore were met with hilarious and witty retorts from his wife. He tried everything from claiming allergies to singing a "no" song, but she saw through his excuses. His reluctance was no match for her quick wit and determination. Stay tuned for more hilarious “No” methods and marital exchanges in our next issue!